HOOF BEATS & PEA PODS

I don’t like horses.  Oh, whatever, shoot me.  OK, let me rephrase.  I like horses, I think they are beautiful and amazing creatures.  But I don’t like to ride them, or feed them carrots, or pick up their poop.  Yes, I grew up in Montana, but contrary to popular belief, we didn’t actually ride horses to school.  We walked. We walked to school in -20 temperatures with a wind chill of -50. Uphill, into the wind. Both ways. Barefoot. Because Montana people are tough and rugged and wear chaps.  

 Some people fear what they have not tried.  That is not the case for me and horses.   I’ve tried.  More than once. I’ve tried to ride horses but the thing about horses is that they know who is in charge when they are being ridden and you can trust me when I tell you, they know it isn’t me.  I am not in charge when I am on a horse. And so, I choose not to ride. I freely admit that I am not Cattle Queen of Montana. I will leave that title to someone else. 

There is a saying that if you hear hoof beats, think horses, not zebras.  Maybe my mild case of Equinophobia (Yes, of course I looked it up and yes, there really is such a thing) is why I don’t always hear the hoof beats.  Why I sometimes block them out. The hoof beats.  The sound of the horses coming my way.  And you don’t think horses or zebras or hippos if you don’t even hear the hoofs.

Today is 2 days before my 2 year anniversary of Double Day. Double Day was the day when the hoof beats finally became so loud and so close that they could no longer be ignored.  Two years ago today, there were definitely hoof beats, I just couldn’t hear them or if I did, I pushed them out of my head.  Then came Double Day. (More on Double Day later.) On Double Day the hoof beats were loud and clear. Undeniable.  Once I did finally hear them, finally really heard the hoof beats, it quickly became obvious.  Hoof beats meant horses. And the years of random symptoms when all put together totally made sense.  I knew I had a monster, and I knew its name.  I didn’t need a Doctor to tell me (that would come later). I knew.  And knowing is power. And knowing made me ready to fight the monster.

One of my favorite commercials of all time is one that I only saw once. Years ago. Just once.  But once was enough. The commercial was announcing a sale at a local car dealership. The scene opens with an elderly farmer and his wife walking into the showroom. They are the ultimate in stereotypical. He with his straw hat, chewing on a piece of grass, she with her gingham dress and apron. They walk into the huge showroom which is quiet and seemly pretty empty. The salesman, a small round Asian man with a huge happy smile, welcomes them and takes them over to a table with a large jar on display. It is a glass jar and all of the contents are clearly visible. The salesman then excitedly proclaims "You guess how many pea pod in jah, you big winna.” The farmer tips his head a bit looks at his wife for a moment and then replies in a slow drawl. "But thare's only 1 pea pod in the jar" and the place erupts. Chaos. The air is filled with confetti and streamers and there are people running around, hands overhead shouting "Winna, Winna, Winna, Winna!!!!" Best. Commercial. Ever.  I only saw the commercial once.  Sometimes I actually wonder if I ever saw it at all.  Maybe I just made the whole thing up in my head. Mad Cow. But regardless of its origin, I’ve never forgotten it and I’ve actually trained my family to play along.   I will just randomly say “You guess how many pea pod in jah, you big winna” and my kids and my nieces and nephews play along.  Play the part of the farmer.  Drawl and all.  We are an easily amused bunch. 

Sometimes the correct answer is obvious. It is a no brainer. When we see it, we know.  It is the lone pea pod in the jar. And once the hoof beats had been heard and identified, once the monster had been named, I went in search of the answer. I went searching to find out how to defeat the monster. So, with the help of loved ones, I dove in full force to find the answer.  My sister was actually the one that found it.  She called me all excited and said she had found this TEDx talk that I needed to watch.  And I did.  I watched a TED talk given by Dr. Terry Wahls.  She talked about food.  She talked about food’s ability to harm or to heal. And I knew. I knew I had the correct answer. Not necessarily the easiest answer, but the obvious answer. For me, it was as clear as the lone pea pod in the jar.  “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”   

Winna, Winna, Winna, Winna!