JUST BREATHE

Yesterday, my friend and coworker Jesse (aka The Cupcake) instant messaged me and said “You haven’t blogged for almost a week now, doofus”.  Not a question.  No response solicited or required.  Just The Cupcake giving me a hard time.  Normally, I would have had some snarky comeback about all of the important matters I am currently attending to. Normally, I would have said something along the lines of “Oh, whatever! Don’t you know how super duper busy I am right now, dork?  Over and above my regular full time job, and my part time job, and all of my food requirements which is also a full time job, oh, and not to mention my regular being a Mom stuff (yet another full time job)…On top of all of that, I’m trying to finish moving and cleaning and selling my house, and I’ve got a son getting ready to finish junior high, and a daughter getting ready to graduate high school and go on to college, and a dog that no longer has a yard to poop in, and summer will be here before you know it!  And so there are banquets to attend, announcements to send, dresses to be hemmed…there are plans to be made and bills to be paid!   Don't you see that I am busy?  I’m Busy, Busy, Busy!  I am Busy Barbie!” But I didn’t.  I didn’t respond that way.  Because as soon as I played that sassy response back in my head, as soon as I heard myself think all of those thoughts and actually listened to myself, it hit me…and instead,  I responded, “ I know.”  And then I said, “Thanks”.

Whether it was his intention or not, my friend Jesse’s little message to me was a reminder...A tap on the shoulder. It was saying “Hey Wynette, just wondering…Are you taking care of you?  Or have you slipped into human doing mode rather than human being mode?”  I have a tendency toward that.  A tendency to get caught up in “do” land and I forget to “be”...And when that happens, I tend to forget to take care of me. 

Don’t get me wrong, I believe that being active and engaged in living is a positive thing.  I like it. I like having stuff to do.  I am at my best and my happiest when I am actively engaged. So, having a list and having things to do, tasks to accomplish, isn’t necessarily a bad thing for me.  But sometimes I get myself off track... When my list starts feeling too long, when it feels like something needs to give, my first cuts tend to be those things that should really be last to go...things that should hold permanent positions at the very top of the list. Things that shouldn't even be on the "to do" list in the first place. Not because they are unimportant things.  The opposite.  I  have things on my list that shouldn't be there because they are essential...they should be a given. No reminder should be required.

Breathing is a given so I don't bother to have it on my to do list. Having breathing on my to do list would mean that I need to remind myself to do it. That I need to remind myself to breathe. It would mean that I could potentially lower breathing's priority or to skip it entirely. And that would be dumb. Categorizing breathing as a to do item, one that can be conveniently ignored, seems silly. Breathing is essential. Yet, when start to feel overwhelmed, I tend to compromise a host other essential things.  I compromise sleep, and exercise, and quiet time, and other things that are good for me. Things that are essential to my health and well being. Things that shouldn't even be on my to do list in the first place. I much too easily put essential things aside in an attempt to conquer the list.  I am all too often quick to postpone or skip the things that benefit me most. The irony is that when I do first things first, when I do the essential things, when I remember to breathe, I am healthier, I am happier, I am more productive. I am more effective and more efficient, and the rest of the list becomes more manageable and easier to tackle.  When I remember to breathe, I am a better worker, a better friend, a better companion, a better Mom, a better Warrior, a better human being...  

 But, I am a also doofus, apparently.  And so even though I know these things about myself, sometimes I need a reminder from a friend.  Sometimes, I need a tap on the shoulder. And so, thanks friend,…thanks for the tap…

Tap, Tap, Tap!