SNOW WHITE

Weird thoughts just pop into my head out of nowhere.  For no apparent reason.  With no point.  A few days ago, I was in the car, minding my own business when it occurred to me that my sister is Snow White, and her kids, my nieces and nephews, are the 7 dwarfs, and her husband, my brother-in-law, is Prince Charming.  Random.

My Sister Wendy is Snow White.  Her hair is dark, her skin is as white as Mayonnaise, and she wears red lipstick.  And also, she likes apples.  Ironic that her skin is as white as Mayonnaise because for years, she suffered from Mayophobia…a complete and total fear of Mayonnaise. (Don’t bother looking it up.  It isn’t a real syndrome.  I made it up. Sue me.) When we were younger, to make her crazy, I would chase her around the house with mayonnaise.  I would have it on a spoon or a spatula or my finger and I would say in my best creepy voice (Mayonnaise…gonna put it on you!) She would scream and run and panic and practically cry.  It was my job to torture her, because I am the youngest.  I called her and asked her how it is going…with the Mayophobia… and to her credit, she has faced the mayo monster and although she still doesn’t prefer to have mayonnaise smeared on her, she no longer has nightmares.  Way to go Wendy!

My Brother-in-law, Greg, is Wendy’s Prince Charming.  Just one kiss is all it took, I think. And also he is the family Safety Officer, ever mindful of all things that have the potential for danger. How charming of you, Greg!

Now for the dwarfs.  My 7 Tedford nieces and nephews.  They are all grown and adultish, each accomplished in their own way, and they are crazy and funny and fun.  They were great kids and they are even better adults.

John is the oldest and he is Doc.  He is the leader, the corner stone,  the head whistler, and he keeps the group in line.  Mostly, anyway, as much as anyone could keep this group in line. Woot Woot, John Boy!

Julia is Happy. It seems like the older she gets, the happier she gets.  Plus she is Leah’s mom, and how could anyone not be happy about that!  Cheers, Jules!

Jason is Sleepy. He hardly sleeps or he sleeps a lot.  Not much middle ground. Also, he has a baby on the way. Get some sleep while you still can, JG lips! Sweet Dreams!

Paul is Bashful.  I called him Sweet Paul and Paulie Joe when he was a little boy.  Still do.  He is humble about his successes and he has a lot of them. Aim high, PJ!

Aaron is Grumpy.  Really, he isn’t grumpy, but there isn’t a dwarf named Hairy, so Grumpy it is.  Plus, last time I saw him, he pointed out to me that he is the only boy in the family with a girlyish name. So, I think he deserves the toughest dwarf name.  You’re welcome, Hairy J!

Bethany is Sneezy.  I’m sure she would have liked to have been Happy, but Julia is older and the older sister always gets dibs on the best stuff and the younger sister is left with the stinky hand me downs and second pick and never gets to sit in the front seat of the car... so she gets Sneezy…But also, she does have this oh so cute way of rubbing her nose and a tendency toward being sick or at least thinking she might be. Bless you, Bethy!

Adam is Dopey.  He is quiet and sweet and he looks cute in hats and  I’ve never seen him with facial hair. And also…Wink!  Peace out, Addy!

So what does this have to do with food or health or life or anything?   Absolutely nothing…nothing at all.  But remember, I warned you. I warned you right from the start…I write for me.  And sometimes what I write might not make sense to you, or it might not be meaningful to you or pertain to you or your life at all. Sometimes what I write might even offend you in some way.  And if any of that happens from time to time, that’s OK with me and I hope it’s OK with you. But hopefully, every now and then, I will show you my crazy, and you will think Oh, yep, that’s my crazy too, and we will share our crazy together.

Hi Ho!