FAMILY AFFLICTIONS

My son and I share a common bond. We are both afflicted. We have afflictions. Our afflictions affect us and affect those who love us. And our afflictions dictate much of how we live our lives, day to day, salad by salad. 

My sons affliction causes him aches and pains; it makes him tired, and has lead numerous medical consults. It is physically and financially challenging, and extremely time consuming...All things that are true of my affliction as well. My sons affliction is also the central motivating factor in how he does daily living. It is his motivation to eat well, to exercise, to perform well in school and to stay out of trouble. Mostly...Again, same for me except for substitute school for work. And the trouble.. well, I do get into a bit of mischief now and then but I wouldn't exactly call it trouble! Mostly. 

My sons affliction started when he was 5. Mine started much later…likely in my late 30’s although I wasn’t actually diagnosed until my late 40’s.  Initially, he fell. A lot. I fell a few times too, but probably more due to basic clumsiness than Mad Cow.  I was more of a hot foot girl with a little dose double vision thrown in for good measure. I can for sure say that my sons malady makes him a better person. I think that is true of me and mine as well. 

For both of us, for both my son and I, once we realized there was a situation, once we each knew we were afflicted, a switch flipped. The motivation switch. The determination switch. And our lives were changed and the lives of our loved ones were changed. Once we knew, our lives changed...for the better.

My son is afflicted with the disease of Hockey. I could tell the minute he stepped on the ice and fell. He got back up and skated 3 strides and fell again and got back up and skated 3 strides and fell again, and repeated the same…over and over. And I knew. I could see it in his smile. Every time he fell, he smiled and I could practically hear him say to himself... "Almost" and he tried again, and again, and again. And I knew. He was a goner at the age of 5. A life sentence of hockey.  

Hockey is not a sport. Hockey is a lifestyle. And when one member of the family afflicted, the entire family is affected. My daughter and I have attended countless games and practices.  Our family “vacations” are centered around hockey tournaments. Hockey is our main source of entertainment and social interaction. And we are very close with our Hockey Family. Over the years, the names of  the teammates have changed…some have come, some have gone, but in the end, the families of my sons’ teammates, past and present, are truly family to all of us.

I was lucky to have family close by when the monster came out of the shadows and knocked me on my butt. I wasn't able to get back up on my own like my son was. I needed help. And my family came. My family of origin came. And my hockey family came. The members of my hockey family were there right from the start. Helping me get back up.  They have been among my biggest supporters and cheerleaders when it comes to my dietary and lifestyle changes. From choosing restaurants with an eye on making sure I can get something more than parsley and water, to making a conscious effort in providing organic whole food choices for me when a team party or meal is planned, they are amazing. They get it.

The members of my hockey family are vastly different. We are the mixed nuts variety. We are spread across the spectrum when it comes to religion, politics, income, eating habits and interests but we share a common bond. We all have sons with the disease of hockey and we all have a personal passion or at least a tolerance and understanding of the game and the lifestyle. And so we are teammates, bonded together. By Hockey. 

I have found that as a result of my affliction, because of the Mad Cow, I have been lucky enough to stumble upon yet another family. I was a newbie, standing outside the circle, peeking in at them. I watched from the sidelines and when the existing members of  the family said "Welcome!", I said "OK!" And I was! Welcomed. And supported. And understood. Not that I feel any less understanding or support or love from my immediate family and closest friends or my hockey family. I am just lucky. I am lucky enough to have found and been welcomed into yet another amazing caring group of people. A group that cares about what I care about and is cheering me on and allows me to cheer them on in return. My newest family is filled with unique, interesting, talented, and inspiring people with vastly different backgrounds, and vastly different stories. We not only span the country, we span the globe. Although most of us will never actually meet… may never even hear each other’s voices over the phone, we are family. We have a shared journey. We are like-minded people and we are all fighting. We all acknowledge that we have a monster (or maybe more than one) and we have decided to fight. And we may not all fight in exactly the same manner, but because we share some very basic common beliefs as to how best to fight the monsters, we have become teammates. We are a team. And teammates have each other’s backs. And teammates become friends. And friends become family.

Group Hug!